Is running away a too easy option? part 2

Posted by Mark Raw in Childcare Industry

In my opinion, I feel that the child in care feels very differently. They have possibly had access to all these experience well before they were ready. This is usually under the tutelage of the older kids in the care homes as there is nothing else to do.

As far as they are concerned they know what to expect as recourse and what they are doing. They have factored in being grounded in a house they don’t want to be at, with other kids that they don’t like, or are scared of, so why not run away?  It makes simple sense, and anyway “X did it and he was ok. I get to do what I when I want, your not nagging me to do things, I don’t have to see X or Y at the home, I get to see my friends and be normal”.

The phrase “I’ll have to tell your social worker/keyworker/Home Manger” does not have the same weight to a child in care as that of someone not in care of ‘telling your parents’ does. Hence the reaction “I’m off”. And in the more extreme cases “….and I’m not coming back”.

It has got to be a monumental upheaval from what they see as their normality for children who have been placed in care, either voluntarily or by court order – the need to adjust to the new rules and regulations that are thrust upon them (some good some bad). All this when they have probably come from a background of poor, if any, boundaries and enforcement of these, poor family relationships and role models. The child will resort back to our primaleval actions of ‘fight or flight’.   As we know in most children’s homes and foster carer’s homes there are consequences and physical interventions for the ‘fight’ aspect which will feed into them making the next decision of ‘flight’.

Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on your viewpoint, children are very resilient beings and the majority of them manage to keep themselves safe until they make the right decision to return back home or they find another place of safety. However some children will never return, sucked into the darker side of society and never seen again.

Given that the majority of these children who do run away do so from care homes and care environments, it is all our responsibility and more so those who work in, manage and run these establishments, to take a lead role to see that the child has no reason to run away. And, in addition, to try to educated the children into the dangers of their actions and help them to see that there are other options and choices to make. There is even the option to set up ‘safe houses’ so when it all gets too much they can run away in an organised manner, defuse themselves in a safe and secure house and return when they are ready.

Radical maybe, but a way forward. After all, where do most of our own kids run away to after an argument? Grandparents, aunties, neighbours, a friend.s house….  Why should kids in care be no different and not have that place of safety.